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This Week in Dulture…
Approx 5 minute read:
😕 Nike outta their mind
💰 Rap is BACK
🎾 Tennis is sorta BACK
🚬 Euphoria is…almost back
Dulture weekly mix
You know when you get your Spotify Wrapped and it gives you back music and artists that you didn’t know you listened so much to - IE Taylor Swift and Drake. And then you make a conscious choice to listen to new music in the new year so that you don’t get these artists showing up in December again.
This is your sign to try something new 👇
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I don’t really fall for scams…anymore.
At least not like when I was younger…and the classic white van pulled up in front of me full of stereo speakers in the mall parking lot.
You know exactly what I’m talking about.
On NYE at Walmart, I was picking up snacks to soak up the night’s alcohol when a man and his “wife” and “daughter” came up to me. He had been walking around the store talking exceptionally loud into his phone like it was a walkie talkie - why do people do this?
Long story less long, I thought he was actually going to apologize for being so loud but no, he tried to scam me out of paying for his groceries and giving him money. I know this because he later went back into the store and approached someone else after their cart full of food mysteriously disappeared.
I ain’t getting scammed in 2026.
Not by losers selling speakers out of their van, not by sketchy gypsy’s in Walmart, and definitely not by Nike.
I love Nike but man, sometimes they try WAY TOO HARD.
Like, just give us the Infrared 90’s, bring back Flyknit racers (PLEASE!), and focus on the stuff you do really well.
We don’t need a shoe inspired by neuroscience or made with it or whatever fancy description you wanna slap on the website.
We don’t need this.
“Nike Mind” is this new line of shoes that’s supposed to help you focus from the effects of walking from the ball things on the sole, where mechanoreceptors in your foot are activated sending signals to your brain to calm down.
I dunno man - it looks like they took a plain shoe and slapped a fidget popper toy on the bottom.
Why are the soles made from this?
My kids get these in loot bags from parties
In reading reviews for these shoes all signs point to scam. Kinda reminds me of Shox back in the day where people thought they could jump higher with them. Meanwhile, Vince Carter was going to jump high no matter what he wore on his feet.
I was close to getting a pair of the slip ons for summer just to see what the hype was all about but luckily they were sold out.
This is the universe telling me I’m not getting scammed in 2026.
It’s Gonna be A GOOD HipHop Year
There was a point last year where there were no hiphop songs in the Billboard Top 40 - the first time this happened in 35 years. And the internet kept asking…
Is hiphop dead?
Obviously not, bozo.
What really happened was Taylor Swift released an album.
Dawg, the album wasn’t even that great…YES I listened to it, I have 3 daughters
And yes I realize the above list is Top 100 - honestly what’s the difference these days anyway 🤷♂
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Jermaine Cole.
This week J. Cole announced a new album that looks more like a double album on February 6th.
We got a snippet of what to expect with a MASTERCLASS of bars by the man himself on this track:
This track is bonkers. It’s essentially an autobiography of J Cole’s life in reverse, where the entire song is bars that rhyme with the word “reverse” - so effing brilliant.
The MV is also brilliant. One long shot, made to move in reverse as the scenes move forward in real time.
There’s so much going on here, like, if Inception was a rap song, this is it.
You know when you’re watching the NBA All-Star game and the really good players finally show up and start dominating, that’s the feeling I get with The Fall Off. This could be an album that just smashes everyone and everything bar for bar.
And J Cole doesn’t even need to do it, he’s a legend at this point. I guess we’ll see on February 6th.
OK, You Need to Pay Closer
Attention to Tennis
I used to be a HUGE tennis fan - Goran Ivanišević was my guy. Man, if you know who I’m even talking about, we’d be great friends.
When you enjoy tennis, you kinda wait for the big grand slams. The US open is by far the best one to watch, something about night tennis in New York in September.
Peep the Nike jean shorts
And then I kinda just stopped caring about tennis - until this very moment.
This week they crowned the 2nd ever One Point Slam Champion who walked away with $1M AUS after going through a field of legit tennis pros, amateurs, and celebrities.
Yo that’s mando-pop legend Jay Chou and yes, he played, and yes he lost instantly
Given the Australian Open is the least favourite grand slam of them all (probably because of the time zone difference) the event organizers ran the MrBeast strategy → give a million dollars away.
The idea behind the One Point Slam is literally just that, you play one point, winner moves on to the next round. They do rock-paper-scissors to determine who serves first and then it’s a free for all where you could find yourself playing against world #1 Carlos Alcaraz.
The event was held on Wednesday where for 3 hours the field of 48 played one point for the million. And it was actually a lot of fun to watch - I don’t know why but it had a bit of a swiping through TikTok vibe to it - perfect for low attention spans who don’t like tennis.
If tennis tournaments were only played like this I think I’d watch a few more to be honest.
Euphoria (finally)
So they finally announced season 3 of Euphoria is back in April.
WTF happened in season 2 again?
Better question, when even was season 2 again??
I had always wondered what they were going to do with so much time in between seasons when these already adult actors were supposed to be portraying high school kids still.
Don’t get me wrong, Euphoria is a GREAT mf-ing show. And I will watch Season 3… and potentially talk about it here, but I don’t have any faith in this season being any good after all of this:
If you don’t live on the internet like me and missed the trailer, essentially the cast is fast forwarded into their adult lives now where they’re all still messed up in some shape or form.
Le trailer:
See the thing is, the show was so good because these characters were messed up high school kids. It’s like if Zack Morris continuously went on benders and only had hope with dope - we loved that.
But now that they’re adults, I dunno, there’s a million shows out there with messed up adults already.
…and the cast is all frigging super star actors now so my expectations are through the roof.
Nah, you’re too famous now