We gotta talk about aliens folks. It’s been far too long and frankly, I need to tell you a quick story.

When I was a kid I was obsessed with aliens and paranormal things. If it didn’t make sense in reality, it got my attention. I religiously watched Unsolved Mysteries in the 90’s when it was actually good. Don’t be fooled by the Netflix remake, it’s trash.

There’s one particular episode that has always stood out for me. It was about these aircrafts spotted over the wilderness in Canada that looked like helicopters but the propellers were on the side and were apparently not something owned by the US or Canada.

So one afternoon in the summer me and my brother are outside playing basketball when we see this aircraft thing that was completely covered in metallic sheets fly over us - like so much so that when it reflected off the sun it was hard to look at. And there were these propeller-type things on the side of it spinning - but it barely made any noise, like an eerie quiet whoosh as it went through the sky.

IT WAS A FREAKIN’ UFO.

We both knew exactly what we saw. I vividly remember looking up at it, then looking away, then looking back at it to make sure I wasn’t seeing some random plane flying through the sky. Something that flew low enough that we could distinctly make out its features should have been making a lot more noise. So we obviously ran inside and hid in the living room, because there’s no way a UFO would find us in broad daylight in our living room.

Whenever I hear about a UFO sighting, I tend to think about what I’ve seen. Between the congressional hearing last week that spoke to a crash retrieval program as well as the US having “non-human biological remains”, I think we’re getting closer to hearing how much we’re not alone in the universe.

And that’s my story. Let’s get this week started, shall we?

This week's issue is a 3 minute read:

⚽️ Boring Ronaldo

🖥️ Teams might be useful afterall

🛍️ BLACK FRIDAYYYY

Ronaldo Not-so Broke the Internet

This week I learned 14M views on a YouTube video means literally nothing.

Ronaldo recently had MrBeast as a guest on his BORING YouTube channel. Firstly, how can the most followed man on the planet be so boring? Is it really just his looks and his soccer skills getting him by??

Secondly, is this one of those situations where you’re so rich and famous that it doesn’t matter if you try, people will pay attention and like it anyway? I’m sorry but no matter how many times they do this with the graphics, this shit is just not interesting.

There was this lead up from Ronaldo on his channel and social media of how his next guest on his YT channel was going to break the internet and everyone thought it was going to be Messi - which honestly, would have been WAY better than MrBeast.

Instead we got a 14 minute video of MrBeast telling Ronaldo how to be a YouTuber while Ronaldo didn’t even sit facing him. It was like they were sitting on the side row of seats on a bus and MrBeast just kept trying to talk to him.

When Ronaldo first announced his YT channel there was obviously so much hype around it but man oh man, without the try hard edits and production, they’re just so bad. Like, this guy is top 3 most famous men in the world easily and can tell so many interesting stories, go anywhere in the world, and experience anything he wants and instead we get these boring conversations with his wife.

In Ronaldo’s case, the subscriber and view count does not equate to quality. But feel free to see for yourself…

Real Time Translation with Your Colleagues

So you know how it can be difficult to understand what your colleagues are saying at work sometimes, especially when they’re speaking a foreign language around you so you don’t understand?

Yeah, it’s not because they’re complaining about you right to your face without you knowing it, it’s just that they speak a different language and you have no way of translating it on the spot…right?

Microsoft Teams has once again solved one of your job’s challenges.

As if Teams actually contributes to your job’s problems.

(I can’t say this with a straight face)

Jokes aside, Microsoft is releasing an AI powered feature next year that will allow you to translate other languages in real time during a Teams call. This interpreter feature will simulate your voice but in another language so that your colleagues that speak a different language can hear your annoyed tone no matter what language you speak.

This means while you speak the AI will translate your words and take your voice and play it back to the person on the other end, supposedly in real time. Given this feature comes out in 2025, Microsoft now has a few months to ensure this actually happens. I’m not quite sure how one will be able to focus in on the language they need to understand as the person talks given it’s already so difficult to understand when more than one person is talking at the same time on a video call as it is.

It’s BEEN Black Friday ALL DAMN MONTH

Is there really a point of Black Friday anymore when 99% of stores run sales all month long in November calling them “Early Black Friday” deals. I get we live in a capitalist society where businesses need to make money but Black Friday isn’t even a day anymore, it’s a whole month - why not just call it Black…nevermind!

At any rate, here’s some deals I found that seem worth it…

65’ Amazon Fire TV - $999 $699

This Smart TV comes with all the bells and whistles you would expect from a TV including built in Alexa capabilities. The 65 inch 4K UHD model is $700 but you can do smaller (~50 inch) for $300-$400. The only issue I’ve heard with this TV is that it moves slow but I think that’s all relative depending on what kind of TV’s you’ve owned in the past. I still use a 60’ HD LED Samsung in my basement that I bought at The CNE for $1200 cash back in 2012 and it still works perfectly fine.

Beats Studio Pro Wireless Headphones - $399.99 $249.95

There’s a Kim Kardashian model of these headphones for some odd reason. I see people wearing them at the gym all the time so they must be good. At 43% off, I’d say that’s a pretty sweet deal for decent quality headphones.

Dyson V11 - $799.99 $599.99

Firstly Dyson stuff rarely goes on sale. Secondly we have an older model of this vacuum at home and it’s so damn useful. Who wants to lug around the big vacuum everywhere you go. If you find you need to just do quick little vacuum missions to clean up stuff on the floor, this Dyson is sooo useful. A great price too.

LEGO - various discounts

Lego never goes on sale - if you like Lego or need to buy for someone, there’s some decent deals to check out.

Paramount+ - 50% monthly plans up to 3 months or 50% full year sign up

I don’t use Paramount+ but I do know there’s A LOT of good movies and TV shows on this streaming service. This offer is valid for new or returning customers whose subscription expired - so there’s most likely a workaround if you were to cancel your subscription right now and sign up again.