I have this problem with frozen yogurt shops.

It’s so much of a problem that it needed its own line above. You walk in, pop music blasting, “fun” colours painted all over the walls, multiple frozen yogurt flavours, and the toppings counter. 

Name a topping you DON’T like at a frozen yogurt shop - and something you’re allergic to doesn’t count. As you all have started to realize, my wife guest stars in this newsletter quite frequently. Her shine this week is that she only puts mochi balls on her frozen yogurt so she is by far an anomaly (which is why I love her so much and would never put her on blast in public 😇😅😒)

My problem with frozen yogurt shops is that I try EVERY topping. I do the Chuck E Cheese thing where you mix all the drinks together, which in theory sounds like a lot of fun, until you drink it. Or in froyo’s case, until you bring your mountain of toppings to the cash.

SIR YOUR ORDER IS 5.6 POUNDS, THAT WILL BE FORTY SIX DOLLARS

Truthfully, I like trying different things. One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was TRY EVERYTHING. And so this week that piece of advice is rubbing off on this newsletter - prepare to jump around on the toppings….topics! (dad joke, sorry.)

This week's issue is a 4 minute read:

🛍 Same same but different: Chinese E-Commerce

🥣 What are they doing to cereal??

✨ Ethics Shmethics

The many faces of Chinese e-commerce

Here’s your challenge: on a night of your preference with your significant other (or alone, I won’t judge), while intoxicated, buy a full outfit from AliExpress. A top, bottom, perhaps some socks, and shoes. Half the fun will be scrolling through the $10-$20 jean jackets while the other half will be forgetting that you bought these clothes while drunk and then surprising yourself with a box in the mail 1-2 months later. And the bonus will be if any of it actually fits!

At this point, unless you’ve been living under a rock with no internet access, you’ve probably heard of Alibaba or AliExpress, the “A” China uses to spell China’s famous tech BAT (Baidu, Alibaba, and Tencent). And perhaps you’ve even gone through the 45-60 day pain of waiting for your cheap fake Yeezy’s to arrive.

But have you tried other Chinese affiliated shopping giants like Wish.com or Taobao to name a few? Recently a new player called Temu has entered the Chinese e-commerce North America game and it literally looks like someone white labelled an existing shopping site.

Temu looks and feels like the other Chinese sites you’ve purchased from in the past so it’s interesting to see such a big site try to establish itself in North America when the likes of AliExpress and Wish have been around for years. I just did a quick search and Clogs (fake Crocs) are still the cheapest on AliExpress by a good $15-$20 from Temu and Wish. Maybe Temu’s app will inspire shoppers to purchase more?

Maybe we’ll wake up and realize we’re all buying the same thing but from different sites.

Another fun game - if you ever come across those online stores where EVERYTHING in the store is discounted, especially clothing where the mannequin is super stylish wearing a trench coat like this, do a reverse Google image search on the product and you’ll see the real price on AliExpress. You’re welcome 😉 

Move over chips, there’s a new sheriff in town

What is your go-to late night snack? You know, the one you buy at the grocery store while you smirk and say, “This will be good for later” 👈 yeah, that one. Something from the chips aisle, perhaps a frozen pizza, or in my case…

What if I told you CEREAL is trying to steal the crown as your go-to late night snack. That’s right, the makers of Lucky Charms, Raisin Bran, and all the sugary goodness your parents never wanted you to eat has come out with a line of cereal that is supposed to help you go to sleep.

“Sweet Dreams” from Post is basically their breakfast cereal with added lavender and chamomile. Want to get better sleep, just add lavender…and 13-16g of sugar per serving. I’m no dietitian but I am a parent and I can tell you straight up: sugar is not what you want to eat right before you sleep. Clearly Post didn’t didn’t do any market research on anyone under the age of 12.

Adding lavender and chamomile to cereal makes it sound like it’s going to taste like your grandma.

I feel like this is one of those, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em scenarios. I’ve definitely had cereal as a late night snack but I could really do without the lavender and chamomile. If I want that combination I’ll take my cereal to a bubble bath thankyouverymuch.

Ethics: Who needs ‘em anyway

This past week OpenAI released Chat GPT-4 and Twitter was buzzing about it - especially the demo where a picture of a napkin with words on it was turned into a website.

Also this past week Microsoft laid off the majority of their AI ethics team. And yet back in January Microsoft announced their multi-billion dollar investment into OpenAI so this makes sense right?? Obviously Microsoft isn’t doing away with ethics completely but it makes you wonder what really are the priorities of software companies these days. Wait, who am I kidding - it’s to ship products as fast as possible and make more money than the GDP of Canada. And create a racist Twitter bot once in a while too.

In my little circle of tech-y friends, the debate is on about how Chat GPT will change the world, disrupt our jobs, and inspire a robot takeover causing us all to use Elon’s Neural Link chips just to keep our brains alive. OK OK, I’m kidding - we typically talk sh*t about the clout chasers on Twitter. But in all seriousness, this AI stuff is heating up like it’s nobody’s business. You now have a new drinking game, take a shot every time you see the words Chat GPT in your social feeds.