Holidazed and Confused

One the best feelings I can remember as a kid was waking up during summer holidays not knowing what day of the week it was, realizing I didn't have to go to school, and then dozing right back to sleep until I woke up sometime in the afternoon, long after Maury had finished with the fathers - just in time for darts / World Lumberjack Championships / some random dog show or whatever else "sport" the sports channels put on during the day.  And then I grew up, cheered about finishing school, got a full time job, and realized I would never have a summer vacation ever...again.  So the Christmas holidays became the next best thing - you know, where the corporate world shuts down for the better part of December and into January.  Where most of us are still kind of at home and can still kind of work the same way we always do throughout the year but decide not to because <fill in your holiday excuse here>.  And slowly but surely, every year I start to fade into this two week long window of staying up way too late, drinking way too much on a Tuesday (maybe this is normal for you, I don't judge), and having to think very hard in the morning about what day of the week it is.

I actually had this grandiose plan of writing about New Years Resolutions and why they don't matter.  And then I wanted to talk about the holiday season and blah blah blah blah. But I know we're already two weeks into the new year so none of that matters now.  So why did it take me two weeks to publish the second issue of this newsletter?  Because I went to Hawaii.  Why don't we start there instead?

Hawaii - You've always wanted to go but why?

Hawaii is like that place that you know you've always dreamed of going but really weren't quite sure if you'd ever actually go - and you were kind of okay with that.  Also, in the back of your mind you knew how damn expensive it is...so there's that too. 

Hawaii was a last minute trip idea where we had an opportunity to stay at this house in Maui.  We ate, we swam, we explored.  We watched fireworks from the pool deck New Years Eve like little beacons of light popping in the sky - it was great.  But let's rewind for just a minute.

There's many islands in Hawaii - which one should you go to?

Honestly, I'm not about to let this newsletter become a travel blog.  Here's what we did / how we got screwed over by Air Canada which in turn is why we did what we did in Hawaii.  As you read this I want you to think of that episode of The Simpsons when Homer goes to the all you can eat seafood restaurant and then Marge has to testify in court - you know the one!

So originally we were supposed to fly out on December 26th via Air Canada and United - the Megazord of airlines that will screw you over.  It just so happens the morning of our flight the baggage belts were broken in the airport so NO ONE could check their bags.  But as this chaos was happening the AC reps were walking around letting everyone know not to worry because everyone's flights were going to be delayed so the planes definitely weren't going anywhere...uh huh.  So 8:30AM rolls around aka our departure time and we still haven't been able to check our bags but not to worry Mr. Safranko!  Ten minutes later we find out our flight has left.  The AC people say don't worry, we'll get you on another flight.  Two and a half hours later...they can't put us on another flight.  The manager provides excuses, we see that there's no more flights, and he tells us to contact customer support and have a nice day.  I wish I was exaggerating here but that was legitimately what happened.  So my wife and I just stand there with all of our luggage and 3 crying kids, frustrated as hell.  

Long story less long, we couldn't find good flights / cheaper flights to fly within the week to try to make up lost time.  So at first I message my family, who is already waiting in Maui for us, and tell them we just can't make it.  We then proceed to look at literally any vacation destination - Cancun (phew!), Jamaica, Punta Cana, cruises, random resorts in Florida - literally anything that somewhat resembles a beach (this is the part where you think of The Simpsons episode) and when we couldn't find anything we bit the bullet and flew out to Maui 4 days later on some bogus-ass flights where I took 2 kids and my wife took the other one because United screwed our flights up.  Trust me - we moved mountains to get to these damn islands.

It took everything in my soul not to curse in that last paragraph

We flew into Maui, stayed at that immaculate house in the picture above with the view of Larry Ellison's island (Lanai island) and then as everyone left on Jan 3rd (the original date we were supposed to leave as well), we flew to Honolulu to start the second half of our trip that we never planned on doing in the first place - thanks Air Canada and United.

Maui vs Honolulu - as told by bullet points

• Maui is super chill but you'll most likely need to drive to most places

• Honolulu is super built up, you can walk everywhere - reminded us of Hong Kong

• Waikiki beach isn't the nicest beach I've ever been to - the Caribbean has nicer beaches

• Waikiki reminded me of Niagara Falls with luxury stores

• Expect to spend $$$ no matter where you go - use the excuse "We're on vacation", it helps with your mental

• Honolulu is by far the best place you can go with kids - so many options for good hotels, restaurants, and pools - my kids would live in a pool for the rest of their life if they could

• I'd go back but only if it were a direct flight - because we're a family of 5. I lowkey looked at what it would cost to fly private because we were so damn frustrated...$60K USD if you're wondering.

Hawaii was fun but if we're going to fly for 10+ hours again we're going to Asia next time.  And probably not on Air Canada. 

So about these shoes...

As I was saying in the previous issue, I bought the biggest release of shoes last year - Air Jordan 1 Lost and Found's.  The reason why these were so sought after is because of the packaging.  Nike made it look like you're buying the original pair from the 80's, including a worn out box, a fake receipt for your purchase, and the 80's inspired wrapping paper for the shoes.  In my opinion, one of the dopest packaging jobs ever for a shoe.  See below. 

If you tried to get these shoes for retail price you needed a God-like bot to get them off of a legit website.  And if you bought them off of a resale site, you probably paid 5-6x the retail price.  These shoes are still so hot after being on the market for a couple of months.  On the day they launched I laid in my bed not qualifying for any raffles on any websites for a chance to purchase these shoes (I've never actually done this before so yes, I realize how lame I sound) and came across a website that I refuse to name here where they had the shoes in stock for just above retail.  Too good to be true?  Possibly?  Was I willing to chance it, sure why not.  A buddy of mine looked at the site and immediately told me there's no way they were real.  My mind believed him but my heart said buy them!  So I did.  And when they arrived the packaging was the exact same except for ONE minor detail.  The font on the fake receipt you get in the box was black.  The font is actually supposed to be green, which I learned with my wife as we watched countless YouTube videos comparing real AJ1's to replicas.  I had indeed purchased replicas (or maybe just that one part of the packaging was fake?), which unless I stood beside someone with the real ones, you'd never know the difference.  Nevertheless they be fake...to some degree.  

Whatever - I'll get the real ones eventually *shrug* For now these will become my stylish winter beaters.  More on winter beaters in another issue.

WTF is going on with this guy?

If there was ever anyone to use to deflect you away from my fake shoes, it's this guy.  Remember Sam Bankman-Fried?  Perhaps you had money in his crypto exchange that he lost?  Or perhaps you just know that he lost hundreds of millions of Tom Brady's money?  Or perhaps you know he's out on $250M bail and has now started a Substack newsletter.  I don't know about you but if I were facing 115 years, I don't think a newsletter is the thing I'm thinking of doing when I get out on bail and have to live with my parents.  That said, clearly I'm not facing 115 years in prison hence this newsletter! (sorry, dad joke..).

SBF's court date is set for October where he tries to prove that he is not guilty of taking people's money, using it, and losing it all.  Meanwhile his co-founders have already pleaded guilty for these exact things.  Either way, dude is in a lot of hot water and it ain't in the Bahamas! (another dad joke, I know)  I've watched enough Billions to know that you don't mess with the US attorney's office for the southern district of New York.  Even Bobby Axelrod had to move out of the country because of them.  Something tells me SBF isn't getting his own Funko Pop figure anytime soon.