Welcome to the Dogg* days of summer.  Either your clothes are sticking to you daily, that lower back sweat from sitting in the car. Or you’re on summer vacation and you officially don’t know what day it is.

Before the age of streaming and YouTube, all we had in the summer was DAYTIME TV.  With the exception of a random talk show here or there, game shows were the only real form of entertainment during the day.  C’mon now, I shouldn’t even have to tell you to have your pets spayed or neutered, now engrained in my mind from countless summers of watching Showcase Showdowns. 

The only other game show I really looked out for was Family Feud.  But the question I have is who TF was surveyed for their questions?  “We asked 100 people blah blah blah” - whooooo did you ask fam?? 

This past week the “families” were asked to name the greatest rappers of all time, which drove Steve Harvey INSANE.  God bless that moustached man.  But for real, easy category, right?  Even if you don’t listen to rap you at least know the likes of Drake, maybe Kendrick Lamar now, and maybe even Jay-Z because of Beyoncé.  And heck, maybe you know Eminem because he said something in 2002 that offended you.  So you’d think any one of these guys could be the top answer!

Survey says…EHHHHHHH ❎ ❎ ❎ 

Drake and Kendrick didn’t even crack the list of 8.  Eminem came in at #3 while Jay-Z came in at #8 with just 3 votes.  So then maybe you’re thinking oh, they must’ve asked some younger Gen Z kids. With Snoop Dogg at #1 and Tupac was #2 they clearly asked ex-Deathrow records employees this question.  

Steve Harvey went on to apologize to the entire hiphop community LOL.

*more Snoop Dogg to come

This week's issue is a 3 minute read:

🏅 Let the games begin

💣️ If this book doesn’t scare you…

🎥 Marvel’s R-rated blockbuster

Les Olympiques Paris Style

Anyone else like, holy sh*t it’s already been 4 years?  You should be because it’s only been 3 since the last summer Olympics given Japan 2020 took place in summer of 2021.  It was confusing at first but then it just felt like the Olympics were rebranded to “Japan 2020”, like that was the official name.

So what should we be looking out for this year as it kicks off today? 

Well for starters people will be swimming in the Seine river.  In 1900 (not a typo) Paris hosted the Olympics and people swam and competed in the Seine river.  It eventually became dirty AF through the years to the point where in 1923, Paris made it illegal to go in the water.  To this day, it’s been illegal to go in the Seine, but that didn’t stop Paris’ mayor from swimming in the river this past week. 

The new sport this year is Breaking (breakdancing).  Although the sport is already not going to be featured at the LA 2028 games, breaking is set to be an exciting event to watch, the same way skateboarding was well received when it was introduced in the last summer Olympics.  Also, it’s kinda cool that Canada has the reigning world champion who is the favourite to win gold, Phil Kim aka Phil Wizard. 

Men’s basketball is always a fun one to watch because the top countries tend to put together an all-star roster and so each game tends to feel like an international all-star game.  The US has won gold in the last 4 Olympics but they didn’t even medal in the 2023 FIBA World Cup and have somewhat struggled against teams they should be blowing out, most recently South Sudan where they barely won by 1 point.  My prediction is the US team implodes this year. There’s way too many egos on the team and they’re starting 39 year old Lebron - why??

And if you’re watching the American coverage on NBC, you’ll have the pleasure of hearing reporting from Snoop Dogg, who will be a special correspondent for NBC.  You’ll also see him in the opening ceremony as he’ll be carrying the torch in the final leg of the torch relay.  Suffice to say, Snoop Dogg will be everywhere during the Olympics…and everywhere in this week’s issue apparently.

This WILL Scare You: A Book Review

Not since The Headless Ghost from the Goosebumps series has a book freaked me out as much as Annie Jacobsen’s Nuclear War: A Scenario.  If you ever wondered how the world will end, this book will tell you, in VERY great detail.  To the minute, in fact.  Sometimes in 30 second intervals!  And with impeccable description - to the point where although this book is based on a scenario Jacobsen made up, the research and facts within it are all very real and very scary.

Admittedly I listened to the audio book, which I think made it even more enticing as Annie Jacobsen’s voice can get really chilling as she tells you it takes exactly 26 minutes and 40 seconds for a nuclear bomb to go from North Korea to Washington DC.

Nuclear launch broken down:

First 5 minutes = boost phase aka launching the rocket into space

Next 20 minutes = mid-course phase aka nuclear warhead detaches and travels through space

Final 100 seconds = terminal phase aka goodbye everything in site

In this scenario the US has to retaliate and launch their own nukes but they fly over Russia who mistakes that for an attack from the US, in which case they launch their own nukes back at the US and NATO countries and poof, the whole world is now being bombed with nukes.

As much as this book portrays a fictional scenario from a REALLY good writer (See: Jack Ryan on Amazon), Jacobsen does her research and the facts are all there.  She summarizes the scenario into three 24 minute parts and so the fact that essentially the entire world can be decimated in 72 minutes is insane.  I don’t know about you but knowing this and seeing more conversation around Snoop Dogg at the Olympics (see above) is a little un-nerving (read: A LOT)

Reynolds & Jackman Renew Bromance

So we started the summer off with a couple kids blockbusters that did NUMBERS.  It’s about time adults get their own blockbuster.  Deadpool & Wolverine comes out today, which is anticipated to do serious NUMBERS - somewhere between $160M-$180M, which would set the record for the highest opening for any R rated movie ever.

Yes - this film is rated R.

YES.

So we know this film will be good.  My wife even liked Deadpool and she fElL aSlEeP wAtChInG iRoNmAn (the last superhero movie she watched).  But here are the film’s facts:

Logan was truly supposed to be the last Wolverine movie for Hugh Jackman.  That is until he was on break from Broadway and it hit him, he wasn’t done.  He called Ryan Reynolds and the rest was quick history.

This is the first appearance of Wolverine in the classic yellow suit that he appeared in for basically the entirety of the comics and cartoons.  Finally.

This is the first MCU film to be rated R - and yes this is an MCU film, expect a bunch of MCU-type overlap happening.  Maybe one day we’ll finally see Deadpool in one of the bigger films.

Reynolds and Jackman ATE A LOT to get into shape for this movie eating ~3000 and 8000 calories respectively to be the right size for the characters. Oh and working out too, of course.

The Film is already at 81% on Rotten Tomatoes from critics - not a bad start for two middle aged super hero bromantical friends.