Well surprise, surprise, we’re talking about the campfire smell outside again. Is it me or is there something more to this wildfire situation? It hasn’t been THAT hot and dry outside yet, has it? In fact, we got some seriously hot and dry weather for some extended periods of time last summer and somehow there wasn’t a forest fire issue like there is now. Well, just when you thought we were out of the woods, we’re right back in the thick of it - sorry…horrible puns I know.

It’s all very unfortunate because this is the time of year where one looks forward to watching and/or setting off fireworks. However, with the entirety of outside looking like it was hot boxed, cities and towns are either recommending not to or downright prohibiting the use of fireworks this coming long weekend.

These days it seems like any excuse for someone to use fireworks tends to drag on for a good four days after the actual intended date. I know this because the dad’s in my neighbourhood message each other with “Gun shots??” every time someone lights fireworks on a day they aren’t supposed to. All that said, with no immediate end in sight to the miserable air quality, it’s going to be an interesting stand off this long weekend.

This week's issue is a 3 minute read:

📘 Drake’s Instagram caption book

👱‍♀️ Barbiemania

🌶️ Should we be stocking up on Sriracha??

Drake wrote a “poetry” book

Drake did something and the internet is buzzing over it - what else is new. I’m not salty, I swear! We all just have this bizarrely strong attention span for things that Drake does. This time around, he wrote a poetry book, kinda. Truly it’s just one line captions he wrote on Instagram across two pages - we won’t talk about the use or lack thereof of paper to make this book. So technically you can get the book for free by scrolling through his captions over the past year or so.

Initial reviews of the book don’t necessarily rate it as a book of poetry as much as a book full of clever one liners that sometimes are just outright “silly”. That said, Drake is a master with the pen and so some of these haiku-esk one liners are enough to make you think twice about what you just read.

What’s crazy to me is when you Google the book, there’s reviews all over the place for it. Imagine taking your Instagram captions, throwing them in a book, having the book sell out, and then having people write SERIOUS reviews about a book…about your Instagram captions. This world is a funny place.

DJ Khaled is proof of this, describing his experience with Drake’s book as, “He wrote a sentence” - he ain’t wrong though. You know who should write a book? DJ Khaled should write a book. In fact he should write a book and have Rick Ross guest star in it. If you don’t think the two of them wouldn’t make a great duo then check this out:

“Barbiecore”

This week I learned a new word: “Barbiecore”. What is Barbiecore, you ask? WELL, let me tell you what Barbiecore is. Remember when you were a kid and you’d walk into the toy section in the toy store and you kinda knew when you were in the girls section because everything around you eventually became pink? That’s what I perceived Barbiecore to be - everything pink, from head to toe. In reality, and in butchering the definition, it’s basically dressing up in shades of pink similar to what Barbie would wear.

When I first heard the word I thought it was a way of describing the all encompassing Barbie universe - especially since the new Barbie movie comes out soon and the marketing campaign for it has been expertly put together. From all pink billboards with just a date on them, to being able to rent out the Barbie dream house on AirBnb, Barbie has once again taken over a large chunk of pop culture.

If staying in the Dream House wasn’t your cup of tea, you won’t get away from Barbie that easily as a Barbie edition Xbox is being released, a Barbie shoe collab with Aldo is out, a Barbie Ruggable rug, as well as a flurry of other pink collaborations. Suffice to say, Barbie is going to be everywhere this summer, whether you like it or not.

Is “Barbie Girl” by Aqua in your mind yet? No? … there it is - whoops.

Sriracha sauce shortage

Not only are we facing a recession, rises in interest rates, and just general craziness in the world, but now they’ve managed to get to hot sauce too. Siriacha sauce shortage - say that five times fast - is the new challenge the world is faced with. So much so that this has caused prices to skyrocket of the classic hot sauce that everyone puts in their phõ. And if you don’t put Sriracha in your phõ then who are you really?

Forget about a global microchip shortage, Sriracha has faced a global chili pepper shortage for years now. For some people it’s been harder than ever to find the sauce in stores. If you go on Amazon you’ll have fun looking at the outrageous prices for Sriracha sauce or none at all . Alternatively, you can check out eBay…not sure why you would go on eBay to look for hot sauce but, yeah - who’s actually paying this price for this sauce?

Or you can do what some people are doing in San Francisco and just take it off the restaurant table…no don’t do that, I don’t need the heat coming back to me. I’m just full of great puns today aren’t I??