As a film student, when I was in university I notoriously fell asleep in class - especially anything that started before noon.  And ESPECIALLY when it was a class that played any films before the 1980’s.  The combination of a dark room, comfortable cinema chairs, and early mornings was the perfect mix to knock you right out.  I still remember this film history class I had at 8AM on Thursday’s - we watched silent films from the 20’s in black and white in the dark, like c’mon man!

Conversely, I never had this problem when watching a movie I paid for in the theatres, even if it was an awful sequel (I think?) of Mortal Kombat.  It wasn’t until I had kids and we started going to the theatre to watch kids movies that the theatre slumbers started again.  You’d think a theatre full of kids, who definitely DO NOT care about staying quiet, would keep you awake - nope. 

Last weekend we went to the theatre to watch Inside Out 2 and if you asked me to write a review about the movie this is how it would go:

Young girl goes through puberty which introduces new emotions

New emotions become main characters creating conflict with the original cast of characters

I wake up and the movie is over

Meanwhile Inside Out 2 is now Pixar’s highest grossing movie EVER and the 4th highest grossing animated film EVER.  So yes, I slept through arguably one of Pixar’s best films they’ve ever made*.

*So did my wife, this is why we get each other

This week's issue is a 4 minute read:

🎤 RapGod’s final Curtain Call

☀️ Can’t get lazier than this

⚽️ Super soccer Sunday

Death of Slim Shady

One of my favourite rap songs ever is “Renegade” by Jay-Z and Eminem.  If you are a fan of hiphop and have not heard that track, you really aren’t a fan of hiphop.  Just two years after The Slim Shady LP (the album that introduced Eminem to the world) Em co-wrote arguably one of the best collabs we’ve ever seen in hiphop. 

Two years later in 2003, Jay-Z announced his retirement from rap; I didn’t believe the guy at all.  Luckily he heard me and released Kingdom Come in 2006.  Not the greatest of Jay-Z albums but I could not get enough of the title track, “Kingdom Come”. 

Jay-Z reads this newsletter weekly…you didn’t know?

Jay is currently still rapping, as far as the world is concerned.  And so is Eminem.  However it seems as though we get our last album today from Slim Shady given the title, The Death of Slim Shady.  The vibes from the initial two tracks released gives a bit of The Slim Shady LP as well as The Marshall Mathers LP sooo this could be a really EFFEN good album?  

@theemin3mshow

#eminem #slimshady #marshallmathers #foryoupage #fyp #forgetaboutdre

To any hiphop head, when you mention Eminem’s Relapse album, you cringe.  For me, bits of Kamikaze and bits of Curtain Call 2 gave me the vibes the world had been yearning for from Eminem given I think it’s safe to say we all wanted more of what he was giving us back in 2000 to 2005ish.  Curtain Call 2 actually felt like his last album when I heard it and at that point I was satisfied enough, I think?  But now that he’s artistically killing himself, this better damn well be blonde hair screechy Eminem mixed with punch line after punch line after punch line.  

The Lazy Way to Beat Hot Weather

It’s super ironic but if you live in Toronto or around the north eastern coast of North America, you probably only get at most 4 decent months of good weather a year but within those 4 months, you probably spend a good chunk of that time inside sheltered with AC. 

Meanwhile you could be doing this:

But if you’re going to be lazy trying to beat a hot day, you might as well do it in a river - a lazy river of course.  Here’s some of the best options globally:

Las Vegas - MGM Grand

We have family friends that go to Vegas with their kids often enough that now I’m wondering if Vegas isn’t just about gambling, parties, and all those other clichés.  They say they go for the pools, specifically the MGM Grand.  Spanning 6.5 acres, MGM’s Grand Pool Complex is frikken massive.  Case in point it takes about 10 minutes to get through the whole lazy river, longer if you’re extra lazy. 

✅ You can drink in the lazy river, not as many kids as Mandalay Bay’s lazy river (if kids are an issue for you)

❎ You can drink in the lazy river, “VEGAS BAAAABAAAY!” 

Jamaica - Iberostar Rose Hall Suites

This was a good lazy river just because no one used it when I was there.  Nothing like having your own personal lazy river to just float around in with drink in hand.  Now this one isn’t necessarily some grandiose spectacle like the MGM Grand but you’re in Jamaica, island breezes, reggae beats in the background, and not a care in the world other than will you have jerk chicken or jerk pork for lunch.  YA MON.

✅ Located in an all inclusive resort, quiet, and just easy

❎ Not very big, you may get bored of this thing after day 2

Singapore - Shangri-La

If budget is no issue then you should fly out to Singapore and stay at the Shangri-La.  The water park area spans almost 14,000 square feet making it the largest for any luxury hotel in the world.  Coupled with this is their sprawling lazy river that flows across six hectares of lush plants and foliage giving you a jungle vibe in the city.

✅ It’s the Shangri-La, they don’t skimp on amenities

❎ It’s the Shangri-La, you’ll be spending a pretty penny per night

Notable mentions include Waco Surf home to the longest lazy river (1 mile) in the world and Grand Hyatt Kauai, because who doesn’t want to go to Hawaii.  I really tried to look for something in Europe but outside of Greece and Cyprus, I don’t think Europeans care too much for lazy rivers.

A Summer of Soccer

In case you weren’t aware, so far this has been the summer of soccer.  Between two major tournaments and the Olympics, if you’re a fan of footy, you’ve been going to sleep and waking up engulfed in soccer.  And heck, if you’re Canadian, you’re even seeing your country compete with South American giants, when does that ever happen?  That said, did we ever have a chance against this man:

This Sunday you’ve got two finals to watch.  In the afternoon you’ve got an England team that hasn’t let down their country (yet) like they normally do against a Spain team lead by a 16 year old with braces.  No for real, if you walked by Lamine Yamal in the mall, you’d think he was just some kid wearing high socks with SB dunks but dude has scored one of the biggest goals of the tournament so far.

And in the evening you’ve got an undefeated in 28 matches Colombian team facing off against the World Cup champions, Argentina - who is lead by this man:

If you were all like, this is way too much soccer to watch, I just want to pick one, then I’d recommend you watch the game in the evening.  There’s always so much more fighting and animosity between South American teams when they play each other in soccer, which usually ends up being a really fun game to watch - like UFC on a soccer field.  

My picks: 

EURO2024 - England finally pulls it off and wins their first Euro Cup outside of England. 

Copa America 2024 - Argentina walks through Colombia, no one is stopping this man:

When in doubt, bet the opposite of Drake. Oh, and Canada plays Uruguay for 3rd place in the Copa America Saturday night 🇨🇦